Thoughts on the way home:
Before--Can't anyone control their kids anymore?
After--Did anyone see me almost cry in produce?
Items in cart:
Before--champagne, fat-free milk, Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, margarita mix, People magazine, anything labeled "spicy", and the latest snack seen on Oprah
After--champagne, whole milk, string cheese, frozen pizza, Capri Sun, anything labeled "microwavable", and the latest snack seen on Nickelodeon
Mode of Transportation:
Before--a short half-block walk to the hip neighborhood market
After--curdled milk-smelling SUV to suburban Kroger
After--Brand name diapers
(Cutest thing ever, right?? Yep, I'm not spending hard-earned money on "Designer Diapers" unless I have a coupon and they are on sale!)
Conversations with fellow shoppers:
Before--"Aren't you my pharmacist? Thanks for the advice on my foot fungus. It has cleared up."
After--"Does this bottle belong to you? Your kid dropped it by the Campbells Soup."
Wallet is found in:
Before--Latest designer purse found at the Galleria
After--Nylon diaper bag found at Babies 'R Us
Biggest Pet Peeve:
Before-Grocery bagger crushes some of my Baked Lays bagging them with heavier items.
After-No novelty "car" carts available.
Total time spent:
Before--10 minutes to throw on a cute outfit and makeup + 25 minutes shopping from the list made in my head + 5 minutes checking out in the express lane = less than an hour
After--30 minutes getting shoes, clothes, bottles, diapers, and snacks for mom kids ready to go + 90 minutes shopping and backtracking to get everything on my detailed list and cleaning up the messes made by the mom kids + 30 minutes checking out with coupons, frequent shopper card, ID for champagne, debit card covered in slobber, and constant monitoring for foreign items that "randomly" appeared in our cart + 30 minutes loading and unloading kids and groceries = THREE hours of pure chaos